About the Song: I Doubted

My One and Only Breakup Song

In “I Doubted,” my only breakup song, I struggle with faith: my marriage was over, and I doubted I would ever get past the pain.

He said, “If you accept it, you’ll forget it.” My immediate thought was, “I doubt it.” I couldn’t believe this was happening, let alone accept it. The idea of moving on and ‘forgetting’ it didn’t seem possible. I felt rejected and completely alone.

As I worked through those feelings in the lyrics—trying to convey them through the melody and especially the rhythmic feel—the song began to take shape and form its own arc.

The song begins with me having no faith. No matter how hard I tried, cried, or prayed, I doubted I could ever get over it. But by the end, when I sing, “Even when it seems that I’m the only one… well, I doubt it,” it’s not just about the pain anymore. It’s me realizing that we all go through heartbreak in our lifetime, inevitably…but eventually, we do get over it.

So, the song is really about finding faith—there is a little more faith by the end of the song than I had at the beginning. I started with doubt, but ended with the belief that I wasn’t alone, and that I would eventually be okay.

Even when love walks away, you will get through it.

This is Not the End of the Story

How did this story ultimately end? We healed our relationship through forgiveness; we forgave each other a long time ago. My ex is now one of my most cherished friends, and in fact, he’s the recording engineer on this song and the entire album, Soul to Soul. It was a beautiful experience recording this song with his support and amazing skills in the studio, and I am so grateful! Thank you, Jamie Bridges!!

And now, I’m happily married again. It only took 20 years in between marriages for me to take that leap of faith! Love—the unconditional, forgiving kind—heals all. I have total faith in that now.